Sandcastles
by Apolena Soleil
Summary: To Seifer Almasy, Quistis Trepe was once a vibrant and beautiful woman. Now, as she sits upon the beach, he views her as a frail shell of the person he fell in love with. They have been living in their own little paradise, waiting out the days.
1. Simplicity

"Sandcastles"

By: Apolena Soleil

A/N: Whoa. Hey guys. It seems as if I haven't written anything in awhile… Eep. I apologize for that. It's been forever, hasn't it?  Well, this is my first attempt at Final Fantasy fiction in a long while… The idea came to me and I decided to write this on a whim. If I get good feedback and find the time, perhaps I'll expand upon the idea. (Who am I kidding? I already have a second chapter in the works. XDD This time I'll finish a story for a change!) And please forgive any oddities in the story… I haven't played Final Fantasy 8 in a millennia. :3

Disclaimer: I own Seifer on the weekends. Muahahah. Other then that…errr, yeah.

In and out, out and in… The ocean never ceased to amaze Quistis Trepe. Its grandeur was unparalleled and yet if you sat and watched long enough, it wasn't too complicated. Yes, the tide changed every now and then, but the waves, the foam, that characteristic sound of the surf rolling up onto the shore… She had been observing the same thing since she was a young child. Her entire life changed since the first time she frolicked along the beach, but now things had finally come full circle. Here she was, and despite all that occurred, life on the sand was just as it always had been: peaceful.

"If time could only go backwards just this once…just for me…"

Quistis felt the granules between her toes and couldn't resist wiggling them as she sat, knees up under her chin. She could never forget the first time she sat down in that same spot; Selphie and Zell were helping her with a sandcastle, but Seifer ended up throwing a pail of water on it. Although not totally damaged, the castle had a dilapidated look to it that the kids couldn't repair. Seifer considered it a victory. Selphie cried. However, Quistis couldn't find it within her to be upset over such a thing. It was only sand. Another castle could always be built. It certainly wasn't the biggest problem in the world.

…_why can't things be that simple anymore… _Her blonde hair hung down across her cerulean eyes and pale face as she took a handful of sand and let it trickle over her palm, through her fingers, and back to where she found it. Oh, if life were only as simple as a fallen sandcastle! Quistis thought about all that could be avoided in life with such simplicity. No war, no hatred, no pain… The young woman's mind wouldn't be clouded with terrible, painful thoughts. She wouldn't feel so alone…

"Quistis? Aren't you cold out here?"

A familiar blonde haired man stood several feet behind her. Quistis was so enamored in her thoughts that she failed to sense his presence. His voice was barely audible over the sound of the ocean, but it didn't really need to be. Over the years, she and he developed a bond so close that they almost didn't need to say anything. A simple glance or movement conveyed a thousand words. Unfortunately, the woman was not facing him, so she turned her head ever so slightly to the left. His striking features were illuminated in the moonlight; Quistis couldn't help but elicit a tiny sigh.

"No. I'm quite all right, Seifer. I was just thinking. Care to join me?" She smiled and lifted a hand for him to take.

"I would, but I really don't think that you should be out here, Quis." Seifer took her hand in his own and squeezed it, but didn't sit. "You'll end up in bed all day tomorrow."

"Oh, no I won't," She began, shaking her head roughly. "That only happened once before, and it was because I was running around! Right now I'm doing nothing like that."

"Well… I guess I can't force you to move. Fine."

Seifer sat down next to Quistis and wrapped his arm around her back. To him she felt so tiny and delicate, like a china doll. For the past several months he had been afraid that he'd break her if his touch was too forceful. She always tried to be strong, but he took note of all the times she winced when he tried to gently hug her. Nowadays, it was rare for him to even kiss Quistis' forehead for he didn't want to hurt her.

"What do you think the others are doing now?" Quistis whispered into Seifer's ear. She leaned her head on his shoulder, grateful for the warmth he supplied. "They all must be so happy…"

"Last I heard Squall and Rinoa were settled down in Balamb. They wanted to be close to Garden, but didn't want to live there anymore, which I guess is understandable."

"Yeah… We've all spent so much time there. It's only natural to leave." She closed her eyes, shutting out the world for a moment. "Irvine and Selphie have their daughter now. What's her name?"

Seifer smiled. "Nayri? I think that's it… Her name starts with an 'n.' I'll have to check the letter they sent us." _Nayri… A little Selphie! Wasn't it only yesterday when we were all little kids running across this beach? It feels like I just threw a crab at her and Irvine the other day…_ "Why didn't we ever consider kids, Quis?"

Quistis furrowed her eyebrows and looked up into Seifer's blue eyes. "I'm not entirely sure. I suppose the thought just never came to our minds." She tightened her grip on his hand and imagined tucking a child into bed that had his wonderfully deep eyes and charismatic smile and she grinned herself. "Would have been nice, though."

The breeze began to pick up, creating ripples on the already bustling sea. Seifer placed his free hand on Quistis' bare arm and sighed. "OK, I think we've been out here long enough. C'mon… I'll bring you inside and make you some tea."

"I…" She wanted to protest, but couldn't find it in her heart to do so. Her blonde hair fell in strands across her face, shrouding her from the glittery light of the stars.

_I knew that she would do this… _The strong young man stood and slipped his arms around Quistis, lifting her up and holding her the way that one might hold a piece of glass or crystal. A body that had once been full of vitality and love was now frail and wilted – Quistis was only twenty eight years old! It never bothered him until he held her in his arms, which even though he was afraid to do he ended up doing often. He loved her so much…and hated to see her this way. Nights like this made Seifer wish that things had ended up differently, that they never fell for one another, that the results that the doctor held in his hand that fateful day said something else completely…

The affect that Quistis' ailment had on his heart was probably more damaging to him than to her. Every day he fought back tears that threatened to spill… He couldn't. Quisty depended on him for too much. Seifer managed to be someone's knight once and he had to assume the role again.

"No matter what, Quis…" Seifer murmured as he carried her back into the house, "I'll never let you go. We've come too far. Please…"

He whispered the same things every night and nothing ever changed.


	2. Familiarity

"Sandcastles"

By: Apolena Soleil

A/N:333 Bonjour again. I love making notes before a fic… Why? I dunno. I suppose it makes me feel as if you, the reader, actually care about ME instead of just my story. Or at least you should. I rock your world and you know it. XDD Please read and keep the reviews coming! There's nothing more I love in life then feedback on my work! 3

Disclaimer: I own Seifer on the weekends. Muahahah. Other then that…errr, yeah.

* * *

Quistis awoke the next morning in a cold sweat. She touched her fingertips to her forehead…no fever. It had been a dreamless night and she felt as if she was lying on a slab of marble instead of a soft, feathery bed. Her sight was a bit hazy, but she could make out Seifer's form sprawled out on the chair in the corner of the room. She slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, felt for the cool floor with her toes, and shuffled over to the man she loved.

His face was pensive even in slumber. Quistis smiled softly; it reminded her of the night that they first spent with one another. It was so awkward, but when the sun shone on his features the next morning she knew that they were going to be together for a long time. _His thoughts must always drive him crazy… I wonder if the same things that cross his mind linger in mine._

After a moment of contemplation, the woman decided that she would let him sleep awhile longer. Surely, she could get on without him for an hour or two. Seifer needed to rest; he did so much for so little. She decided to make him a cup of coffee and headed for the kitchen.

The windows in the kitchen were wide open, letting the crisp summer air waltz in. Thankfully they didn't live in a city where they would have to be careful about thieves and the like. Most people didn't even know about the home that they shared. Edea and Cid left it to them when they passed away three years ago. Quistis loved it for the fact that it was like their own little paradise… She didn't need to worry about anything else other then what happened in the house and on the beach.

"…Quisty? Hey, g'mornin'!"

Startled, Quistis yelped and clutched the edge of a counter for balance. Zell sat at the kitchen table, winking at his friend. A traditional Dincht grin crossed his lips. He stood and walked over to her.

"Zell Dincht, don't you ever pull a stunt like that again!" She took several deep breaths, attempting to steady herself. The cold sweat came back and she tottered into Zell's arms.

"Whoa, whoa… Relax, Quisty. I'm sorry – I didn't know." Zell led her over to the table and sat her down. "I haven't seen you in a long time! You used to be good with that sort of thing."

"Yes, used to." She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked up at her old friend. "My, Zell… You're almost thirty years old and you still look just like you did ten years ago."

He laughed and went to get Quistis a glass of water. "Yeeeah, I try. It's not easy, though!"

As Zell was standing at the kitchen sink, Seifer came running in. "QUISTIS!" In a fit of rage, he grabbed Zell by the shoulders and whirled him around, ready to attack. "What the hell are…"

"…uh, mornin'." Zell's eyebrows rose slightly as he dropped the cup that was just prepared for Quistis. "Long time no see, Seifer."

"Oh, man…" Seifer let Zell go and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Dincht. I just heard Quis and –"

"Nah, I get it!" He nodded. "It's no big deal. Want some water?" Picking up the cup at his feet, Zell chuckled and placed it in Seifer's hands.

Quistis stood and headed over to the men. It had been awhile since they had company; Zell added a sense of cheer that she hadn't been found in months. "So Zell, how have things been? How are the others?"

"Ahh, we're all doing OK, I guess." The man with the spiky hair nodded. "Squall and Rinoa are still busy with Garden, even though they're trying to distance themselves from it and create a family and whatnot. That Nayri has Irvine and Selphie occupied…same old stuff for them. And me? I've just been travelin', taking in the sights of the world… Things I've never been able to do before. Ma died a couple months back, and I couldn't sit around anymore. Life is too short, y'know?"

Seifer looked over at Quistis when Zell made his last statement. She looked to the floor quietly, clasping her hands. He knew that Zell wasn't aware of what was happening and couldn't help what he said, but he still wished that Quistis wasn't around to hear it. _Life **is** too short…_

"Zell, can I talk to you for a second?" Seifer motioned towards a door that led to a sun bleached patio. "Quis, we'll be right back."

The two men took their leave and headed to the patio. Zell raised an eyebrow at Seifer's sudden desire to be alone with him. Even now, it seemed odd to that they could be friends when they were enemies for so long. 'Chicken Wuss' was a name that he hadn't heard in years… One day things just shifted and Seifer became astonishingly amicable. What brought about such a change Zell could never fathom. Perhaps it was because he finally (and surprisingly) ditched Raijin and Fujin. However, despite that, he had reason to believe that it was Quistis' doing, whether she knew about her influence or not. …speaking of Quistis, Zell noted the fact that she looked particularly pale and feeble. _She used to be so good with surprises, but just before she looked like she woulda passed out…_

"What's going on, Seifer?" Zell inquired, shuffling around some sand with his foot. "Anything big?"

Seifer slowly nodded his head and observed Zell's movements; they were constant. He never stood still, even as an adult. "Well, yes. It's really big, and I need to ask a favor of you. It's not for me though… It's for Quisty."

"Quistis? I'll do anything for her!" He gave Seifer an eager thumbs up. "Whaddya want?"

"Zell…" Seifer placed a hand on his shoulder. The cheerful mood seemed to evaporate and soar away in the humid morning air. "Quistis is dying."

"…what?" Zell felt as if he had been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. His mind went reeling with the news, and for a moment in time he stood uncharacteristically still. "Not Quisty. No…"

"Yes. I'm sorry. No one knows except for us. Quistis never wanted to make it a big deal. She just wanted…to live whatever life she had left in peace." Seifer sighed and peered in through the window to see what she was doing. Her blue eyes were focused on a napkin she had in her hands. "Edea left this house to us and we both thought it fitting to stay here."

Tears threatened to pour forth from Zell's eyes. He loved Quistis dearly and couldn't imagine the thought of losing her. Seifer told him everything so quickly… To say it was a shock would have been an understatement. "I, I…what can I do for you, Seifer? Say the words and I'll be on it."

"Quistis hasn't made it clear, but I know she wants to see everyone one last time. Every day she's been asking me about Rinoa and Squall, or you, or Selphie's and Irvine's little girl… You have to get them here. Please." Seifer paused and took a deep breath. His voice faltered slightly as he spoke again. The sadness ripped at his soul and yet he tried his hardest to hide it. "She's the world to me, Zell… I can't give her more time. All I can do is make whatever she has left meaningful."

"I get it." Zell crossed his arms across his chest and looked out to the sea. "Damn…twenty eight years, Seifer. I can still remember when we were all six and seven years old…"

"Yeah."

There wasn't much else to be said that hadn't already crossed their minds. The lull of the waves surging in brought them back to a place where no one was dying… Quistis was all smiles, as were the boys. It seemed as if the sun shone only for them. Everything was systematic. As children, they would wake up in the morning, Matron would make them breakfast…playtime, then lunch…then they would play some more… A sense of familiarity and joy filled their worlds.

Nothing seemed familiar anymore… The world, to them, was shrouded in an unnatural fear and dread of the future.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, I'm trying to keep everything relatively short instead of having these long, boring chapters. It makes it easier for me to write, knowing that I don't have to type out 15 pages of a story on my word processor like I used to. ("Love and Disloyalty," anyone? XDD) 


	3. Longing

"Sandcastles"

By: Apolena Soleil

A/N: What's good in the hood? XD I'm sorry… I'm not quick with updating, me being busy with school and other things that hold higher regard nowadays. Like my Lord of the Rings research paper…XD If anyone has any secondary sources about Frodo and Sam or knows how to define Gollum as a tragic hero, let me know. This was only supposed to be a one-shot, and now I don't know where I'm taking it!  It's not going to be too long, though.

* * *

A curl of gray smoke escaped from Quistis' lips as she sat at the kitchen table. Seifer had since seen Zell to the door but she couldn't find it within herself to say goodbye. Zell didn't mind; now that he knew what he knew, saying goodbye had a finality that he didn't want to face. Quistis was aware of this. As long as she had known that man, he could never, _ever_ say farewell without revealing the child in his heart. _Even on the day when we moved to Edea's home Zell had a hard time coping with it, _Quistis mused in her mind. _But he was always so protective of the people that he loved… Us being out of his sight was probably so upsetting._

She stared absently at the cigarette in between her index and middle fingers. The smoke rose upward like a winding snake, silent and prepared to attack its prey. Its musty scent was not particularly amicable with the salty sea air – the combination began to irritate Quistis' eyes. She flicked the ashes of the cigarette into an ashtray waiting upon the table and watched as the embers faded to a dull and dark hue. Why the woman began to smoke she never could comprehend. It was one of those things that she never foresaw and just happened one day completely without warning…just like her current condition. _Since I'm already dying – let's not pretend, because I am – why the hell not? I mean, it can't make me feel worse than I already do._

_**You have such a negative attitude, Quistis. Learn to brighten your outlook a bit, all right?**_

Shiva.

Shiva was the only Guardian Force that Quistis bothered to hang onto. She doubted that anyone was looking for her… There were more powerful creatures out there that would be of better assistance to SeeDs. The majestic ice woman, although strong in her own right, was better off with Quistis anyway. They shared a bond that no other human had, or even bothered to cultivate, with a GF. Most would only treat the spirits that they held with respect so that they would arrive quickly in battle to smite an enemy; Quistis, however, found a sense of solace in knowing that Shiva was there for more than an aid in battle. She could always talk to her, and Shiva would most usually answer back.

"I would, if I could." Answered Quistis bitterly, "But it's kind of hard, knowing what's going to happen to me and all."

_**Perhaps it won't come around so soon if you try to enjoy what you have left. Sitting around, smoking cigarettes and pitying yourself won't solve your problems.**_

The blonde haired woman suddenly got angry. She lightly slammed her fist down on the table… Shiva meant well, but talking about her future more often than not put Quistis in a terrible mood. "What do I have left, Shiva? You act like I have all the time in the world to live, but I don't."

**_Do you not realize that to someone, you _are _the world? _**

"What are you talking about…?"

"Talking to yourself again, Quis?"

All of a sudden, Shiva's last inquiry made blinding sense to Quistis. Seifer stood behind her and placed his hands softly on her shoulders, murmuring something that didn't make much sense. She blinked and dropped the cigarette into its tray. How could she have been so stupid? Here was a man that loved her more than life itself and would gladly give up his own just to see a halfhearted smile on her face, and she was smoking her time away. Quistis immediately felt guilty; she took his wrists and wrapped his arms around her neck, like a warm scarf. Seifer's lips were next to her ear now – she could hear his breath, steady and hushed.

"Why didn't you put on a heavier shirt before you came out here? You're so cold…" He whispered. "If I'd have known, I could have gotten it as I was seeing Zell to the door."

"I'm sorry, Seifer." Quistis tried to look at him, but only got a view of his profile. "I really feel fine now, but… Hyne, everything. I'm sorry…"

"It's no big deal!" Seifer laughed softly and placed a kiss on her cheek before standing. "I'll go get it for you."

As he left, Quistis began to slowly stand herself. She looked out the window and could only see the reflection of the sun on the sea… It was noon. Usually, as it got later in the afternoon, Quistis could see the yellowish orb hanging in the sky. The warmth of its glow made the woman happy; the kitchen and any other room in the house with a window facing the sun at that point was painted in orange. _If I could, that's one thing I would do… Paint some of the rooms in this house. _Seifer and Quistis made the home their own, but never did any real renovating. The paint on the walls, now worn, faded and cracked, had been around when they were still children.

She wrapped her arms around herself; perhaps Seifer was right. For a summer afternoon, she was quite chilly. Maybe it was Shiva's way of chastising her… Shiva was willful to a fault. The goddess knew that Quistis had realized what she was trying to say and looked out at the ocean through her eyes. She longed for her keeper to summon her so she could enjoy her own body for awhile. It was a farfetched dream, unfortunately, seeing as Quistis was so weak… The last thing on her mind was summoning.

Although morbid, Shiva knew that once the woman died, she'd be free once more. It was something that she anticipated but didn't want to come quickly. Quistis had been so nice to her… She could have given her to a young and inexperienced SeeD but opted not to, which was against Garden policy. Instead, Quistis brought Shiva to live a peaceful and warless life. This was something that the Guardian Force liked, but she felt so useless. Shouldn't a loyal GF help her master out in some way? Doling out advice when Quistis was depressed just didn't seem sufficient.

…Shiva wanted Quistis to be happy once more.

* * *

I apologize for the length of time in between these chapters. Again, I'm extremely busy… But with Spring Break coming up, I should probably be able to finish this if I really tried! 333 


	4. Finality

"Sandcastles"

By: Apolena Soleil

A/N: Slowly but surely I'm getting this finished, guys… It's tough, but I am. I just got a job and I've been there almost every day, taking up the time that I wanted to use to finish this. Uuuhhh. But I promise that I'll work more diligently. I let my mind take me places in this quick little chapter, so forgive me if the symbolism is a little funky. I just couldn't help myself. xoxox

* * *

_She used to be so different. Even when we first found out that she had something that'd kill her, it never stopped her. Why is it that all of a sudden she's so…I don't even know. It's as if we're finally reaching the end…_

Seifer had found Quistis' heavy shirt awhile ago. He knew she was waiting for it, but for some reason or another he couldn't find it within himself to actually give it to her. It was slung absently on the back of a chair in their bedroom. Quistis always loved wearing it. The shirt was oversized, as if it was made for someone else. What she was thinking when she bought the article of clothing, Seifer couldn't guess. He never saw her wear anything baggy; Quistis was the definition of neat. She was scrupulous about what she wore time and time again. If it wasn't her typical pink dress, it was a pair of perfectly ironed pants and a fitted blouse.

Things hadn't been so thought out as of late. She slipped into garments that were loose fitting almost every day…sometimes Seifer pondered if she liked the feeling of practically swimming in her clothes. Instead of her long, blonde hair being pulled back in a tight bun, Quistis let it hang. It was brushed, but she let it blow this way and that, as if the breeze was trying to steal it from her head. Her eyes were tired, like they had seen so much and were bored with seeing anything more. Makeup was something of the past, for Quistis never had the energy to apply it.

Once, a long time ago, Seifer had seen an older woman walking down the street in Balamb. He approximated in his mind that she was about forty years old. For her age her hair was a vibrant red color, similar to that of wine. Emerald eyes were hidden behind a pair of the thinnest rose colored glasses. To Seifer, she was absolutely gorgeous. A celery green dress that hung to her ankles was what she wore; it blew carelessly in the sea air. He couldn't help but wonder what she looked like now…she was at least forty five. Was she still as beautiful? Did the ocean wind complement her as well? What was her life like for her to walk with such a blithe gait? Hers must have been a life of privilege, for she looked as if she never frowned in her entire forty years. She looked like a woman that never wore a baggy shirt, that was for sure.

Quistis was once just as carefree. Even for a SeeD, she hid her troubles well…at least since she and Seifer fell in love. It was as if everything that happened before that moment vanished and Quistis emerged anew. She laughed more often, smiled daily… Seifer gave her a reason to be alive. They spent a great deal of time walking around, not even saying anything much because they just _knew _what was going through each others' minds. At night, Quistis slept comfortably in his arms even though her room was just down the hall and around the corner from his. He used to stroke her back while she slept, the starlight brightening her already glowing skin. Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he'd think back on the red haired woman and wonder if Quistis would ever be that happy. He could see her in her own green dress, perhaps holding the hand of a child or carrying a sack of groceries, just like a normal lady.

If he could be granted one wish, it would have been for Quistis to live a life of beautiful normalcy. He wanted her to trade in her baggy shirt for a green dress…he knew she could, with a little help. Seifer tried to make he see that in these last days, but to no avail. His lips turned into a dismayed grimace as he thought about what he did for her. _All of the days I spent watching over her, all the nights I carried her in from the beach…is she even grateful for it? She sits at that damned table smoking for Hyne knows how long! Has it ever occurred to her that when she dies, I'll be alone!_

Seifer let anger momentarily overcome him. He picked up the shirt and flung it across the room. It crumpled in a tiny pile in the corner. Quickly he composed himself and stared at his hands. How effortless it was to just throw the garment! On Quistis, it seemed to almost be a living thing…the shirt moved with her, kept her warm… It was the fashion for a dying woman. Seifer sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

…it was too much for him to bear as the finality of Quistis' life suddenly hit him. For all that he did, all that he sacrificed, she was just going to die. Was he the dumb one for trying to prolong her life, or she for being the one that gave up hope so easily? Seifer couldn't make heads or tails of it as his heart broke into a million pieces. He never imagined her actually dying…what life would be like alone. _Alone. _Quistis was going to die and leave him alone. Seifer would have to live in a big, empty house as the sea rolled in and out, thinking about happier times and trying to look ahead and carry on. Could he do it? He was once a brave and cocky young man who never would have thought twice about Quistis or anyone else. Although at that time he never had such deep emotions, he also never would've run the risk of getting hurt. Letting someone in was almost a blessing and a curse.

_What am I going to do? _Suddenly, the tears in his eyes began to flow freely. Seifer Almasy, once a valiant and strong man, had been reduced to a child over the mortality of the woman that he loved. A whirlwind of inexplicable emotions overwhelmed his heart. He was mad at himself for letting himself fall in love so deeply, being aware of the fact that he'd be crushed in the end. He was afraid, not knowing what was to happen once he lost Quistis. He was saddened and hoped beyond hope that his entire life with Quistis was a dream, or at least the part that involved her death. He wished he never met her and was scared to let her go all at the same time.

Seifer knew that Quistis relied on him for so much, whether or not she knew it or was appreciative of it. He chastised himself – now wasn't a time to be looking for gratitude. Even if Quistis didn't know, she was his world; the least he could do before the sun went down on that world was make sure that it rested in peace. The man finally realized that there would never be a green dress for Quistis, nor would she ever walk so beautifully. That woman, he comprehended, was only half a human being. She never knew the bitter sting of life, only the smiles and happiness that came with the good times. She wouldn't be able to relate to death or tears. On the other end of the spectrum was Quistis, who had barely even cracked a smile in her short twenty seven years. It wasn't until Seifer came into her life was she happy, and even that amount of time didn't compensate for the sadness that she knew and what loomed over her happiness with him like a black storm cloud.

_That's all I can be for her…the other half._ Seifer stood and made his way to the shirt. Picking it up, he studied it carefully – and for the first time, he took notice of its color. The shirt was a pale green. A halfhearted smile crept upon his lips as he left the room.

* * *


End file.
